Lesson one, part two: Forget the American measurements!

We remain the only nation in the developed and underdeveloped universe that still uses our own bogus measurement system.  Forget it.  Good cooks should be able to understand the Metric system, which is used everywhere but the United States.

U.S. = LAME

METRIC SYSTEM: Decimal system, based on multiples of 10.

Basic unit of weight: gram

Basic unit of length: meter

Basic unit of volume: liter

+ prefixes to denote larger or smaller units of measurement

Example: 1 kg = 1,000 g

It's incredibly easy.

Here is some basic yet integral information about measurements:

1 gallon = 4 quarts = 8 pints = 16 cups = 128 fluid ounces

1 egg white = 2 fluid ounces

To convert ounces to grams: multiply ounces by 28.35

To convert pounds to grams: multiply pounds by 453.59

To convert F to C (degrees): (xF-32)/1.8 = xC

To convert fluid ounces to millimeters: Multiply fl.oz. by 30

To convert millimeters to fluid ounces: Divide millimeters by 30

Prefixes:

kilo = 1,000

hecto = 100

deka = 10

deci = 1/10

centi = 1/100

milli = 1/1,000

1 pound = 16 ounces

1 gallon = 4 quarts = 128 fluid ounces

1 quart = 2 pints = 32 fl.oz.

1 pint = 2 cups = 16 fl.oz.

1 cup = 16 tablespoons = 8 fl.oz.

1 tablespoon = 3 teaspoons = 1/2 fl.oz.

1 kilogram = 2.2 pounds

Lesson one: understanding the basics

Escoffier's Kitchen Brigade System

[aka: know what you're talking about when you engage in cook-speak]

Chef de cuisine: the head honcho, the big cheese, the big (wo)man on campus.  Responsible for the development of the menu, supervision of all kitchen stations, and ordering - among others.

Sous chef: second-in-command to the chef de cuisine.

Saucier: saute chef.  Responsible for all sauteed items and their sauces.

Poissonier: fish chef. Responsible for all things fish-related.

Rotisseur: roast chef. Responsible for all roasted foods and their jus or other sauces.

Grillardin: grill chef. Responsible for grilled foods.

Friturier: fry chef. Responsible for all fried foods.

Potager: soup chef. Responsible for preparing soups.

Legumier: vegetable chef. Responsible for preparing vegetables.

Entremetier: another kind of vegetable chef, with responsibilities of both the potager and legumier.

Tournant: roundsman. Does whatever needs to be done in the kitchen.

Garde-manger: cold foods chef.  Responsible for the preparation of cold foods.

Boucher: butcher. Responsible for butchering meats, poultry, fish, etc.

Patissier: pastry chef. Responsible for baked items, primarily desserts.

Confiseur: prepares candies and petits-fours.

Boulanger: prepares breads.

Glacier: prepares frozen and cold desserts such as ice creams and sorbets.

Decorateur: responsible for decorating mostly cakes.

Expediter/announcer: responsible for accepting orders from the dining room and relaying them to the kitchen.

Communard: responsible for helping to prepare the 'family meal,' or the meal for the staff.

Commis: literally - the kitchen apprentice.

Maitre d'hotel: dining room manager.

Chef de vin/sommelier: wine steward.

Chef de salle: head waiter.

Chef d'etage: captain.

Chef de rang: front waiter.

Commis de rang: busboy.

--------> "commis de rang" is the French word for "busboy."  You have to appreciate how the French language makes even the most demeaning-sounding English words appear achingly beautiful as they roll off the tongue.

Gastroporn: Part I

Gastronomy:

gas tron o my [ga-stron-uh-mee] (noun)

1. the art or science of good eating.

2. a style of cooking or eating.

Pornography: 

por nog ra phy [por-nog're-fe] (noun)

1. sexually explicit pictures, writing, or other material whose primary purpose is to cause sexual arousal.

2. the presentation or production of this material.

the equation: food = sex, or

[f = s] when, for variables f & s, f=food & s=sex.

This Website:

A long-overdue collection of personal recipes, adaptations of other people's recipes (credit will always be given) tips, tricks, and more from the kitchen.  

And the bedroom.  

No, just kidding.  Kitchen-only, but I encourage creativity & the use of an overactive imagination.  Cooking, also known as culinary arts, is just that - an art form.  Use your mind and your brain to create.  The possibilities are endless.